Why Do I Keep Doing This to Myself?!

When I got disabled from my career, I thought that other than my disability; I would have an excellent, relaxing life away from the boisterous everyday shift work that I had gotten so accustomed to for the past 26 years. I hadn’t thought about all the doctor appointments ahead of me because of my disability. Still, I was happy not to ever return to my job again. I used to love my job, but because I am Deaf, they have forced me to work the phones at the help desk where I worked as a computer operations analyst for the past few years. I worked as a keypunch operator in the computer room 25 years ago.

I’m showing my age now, but it shows how much I loved working in the world of technology. But when they put me on the phones, we did not have the luxury of having those TTY phones back then. Since I am susceptible to other people’s feelings, I felt so horrible for whomever my coworker happened to be on each shift because I had to hand over the phone to whomever I was working with every time I answered a call. We were a global company, so you can imagine me, a Deaf woman, answering calls from other countries. All the stress I had to endure for all my twelve-hour shifts. It was very draining. So yes, I was delighted when I discovered I could no longer work. Not happy to have the disability, but happy not to put my coworkers through the hell I put them through every time they had to have…